Breathe Me

watch me bitch!

i live in aprt. #1206. that fucking place is cursed. since the very first seconed i moved into that place there has been one thing, and one thing only: DRAMA! and there's plenty more to come apparently. so, i hate my roommates, nothing new. i thought that maybe,just maybe, this last month will be drama free and go smooth and without problem, but what an idiot i am for even dreaming about something like that in an apartment like #1206.
I CANT WAIT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!!! i will never ever never ever live in a apartment with the #1206, ever again! its cursed!! i hate it!! i cant wait to getmy fucking hand on you!!! i will do nasty nasty things and watch u suffer!!!!!! (im not really, the thought of even touching you makes me wanna puke, so im just gonna stand a little bit away from you and shout and bitch like i always do)

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lets change subject to something much nicer, like shopping and circus! :D

so i bought:

2 dresses
1 pull over
2 tops
1 cardigan
2 jeans
2 jeans-shorts
1 short
2 blouses
4 socks
2 thicker cardigans

           

so no more shopping for me in like... a week? lol

went to the circus too, with my love Carl. it was great, until the horses came and i wanted to go home. carl was brave, he took a ride at both the camel and a big mean and evil horse.
 
           

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tmw, its 13 days!!
Day:

1. Dinner with my awesome Susanna!
2. Dinner with Rogers brother and wife + neighbors
3. Babysit Carl & Alfred
4. Drive up to my dad, have dinner with all the siblings
5. Dinner with Emelie
6. Going to my grandma
7. Drive to Jönköping with Åsa
8. Play with Åsa
9. Play with Åsa, Drive home
10. Have Kräftskiva with the entire fam
11. Be with my family
12. Start my trip back
13. Dinner with awesomness in human form Amanda, and baby babe Quinn and then lay in my babys arms the whoooole night!

thats my plan, for the courius one.

im hungry... but too tired to sleep...

guess its nite nite anyway....

I love you!

nite nite

today, i went to annicka to play singstar! and not which ever singstar, but Disney singstar! i was best, of course. malin sucked. of course. lol (we dont have to mention that she ALWAYS win and i ALWAYS lose...)
              


             


im sooo tired now so im just gonna go to sleep and wake up and then it'll only be 14 days left before i go back to LA. 14 days is 2 weeks, and 2 weeks is suuuper short time! cant wait!!

Puss!

yesterday was my sister wedding! it was sooooooo beautiful!! i cried before, during but not after lol i creid pretty much the whole day lol it was so amazing!! im so happy for her! she looks so incredible beautiful in her wedding dress, and Fredde looked so handsome and it was such an amazing day/night! and today our closest family and freddes closest family gathered at our place and had dinner and lisa & Fredde opened presents, i played with my LOVELY nephews and it was just a super nice day. at times like this i just cant understand what im doing in LA. i have this so totally amazing family here, they give love, security, laughs and more love and i love every single one of them and specially my nephews Carl, Alfred and Max, they are my everything!!! so i leave them, for like a year at the time, i miss them and i miss out on sooo much! they grow, they learn to walk and talk and they become independent and courius and handsome and i miss out on it all! it just totally breaks my heart.... at the same time, i LOVE being in LA, i love my life there, i love my boyfriend, friends and school and weather and i enjoy myself so much being there. but its no wonder i get homesick every now and then, knowing that all this wonderful is half a world away...

                      

                                                     Lisa & Fredirk

                      

                                                             Lisa & Me

                      

                                                           My love Alfred

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now, something else wonderful is half the world away. something i cant even remember the touch or smell of. something that for the last month only been a text or a voice in a computer. in almost 16 days, that something will become a person, and not just any person, that something will turn into my peanut! long distance relationship wasnt really something for us, both of us demand so much attention and so much entertainment and closeness and then everything just swwwwipsss dissapear. so its hard on us, but we grow stronger and this have made us a better couple i think. we have always been very open with our feelings towards eachother, but now we really had to learn how to talk and how to express ourselves in a different way. i beleive: what doesnt kill you, make you stronger. in this case, i think you= our love, so what dosent kill our love, makes it stronger.
im ready to say good bye to my wonderful family, and hello to my wonderful boyfriend.

Puss puss

ok so today i talked to my babe about something very private, and the answers he gave to me was the most beautiful that anyone ever ever have said to me. he truly is amazing and even if i know he's a great person, i today realized that im blessed to have him in my life.

today i went shopping with mom and malin. bought alot of stuff! :D clothes mostly. bought two things for my baby too, so now i have 3 things to give him when i get back. i'll give him more tho, still planing on buying at lest 2 more things for him :)   after that, i went out for dinner with mom, roger,malin,my sister and her man, my two awesome super lovely incredible newphews. they are so adorable!

when me and mom was driving into town we started to talk about vincent and benjamin, our dogs that passed away 2 years ago. we both loved them so much and when they passed away... i've never ever ever been so heartbroken...and both me and mom are so sensitive now a days so we were sitting there, talking about them and crying... such babies we are lol
i really do miss them and love them and they were so super special. and even if i love felix with all my heart i will never have the same feelings for him as for i had for my two boys..

anyhow, now im gonna be done with this so that i can videochat with my awesome super duper huper best peanut! im leaving, 3 weeks from today!!

Puss puss!

Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.

wow, last night i didnt sleep shit! i came home, tired as hell but happy that i finally could fall asleep before 23... at 22.55, my mom calls and beg me to come pick her and roger and our neighbors up. why? its raining like hell... i told her what my dad aöways said when i was younger: "It'll pass", but, unlike my dad lol, i went to pick them up. dont really know what time the thunder storm started, but damn! it sounded like it was world war 3 outside my window and there were many times i got scared, my heart stoped for a min and ones i even sat up in bed, almost screaming! crazy!!

anyhow, went to work at 7, as usual. worked 15 hrs, as usual. had a good time, as usual lol tmw is the last day the resturant is open!! yay!! so its tmw and a few hrs on monday when we are cleaning up that is left! LOVELY!!


I've missed my babe soooo much today!! i miss him every day, but today.... damn... probably cuz i couldnt hear his voice this morning... i go up at 5.30 when i start at 7, just to be able to talk to him for 30-40 min before work... and today he stayed at his friends place and i couldnt talk to him.. :,( poor me!!!
i can picture myself running towards him at LAX in 25 days! i envy Emma who's going back really soon.... i soo wish that was me!! at the same time im super happy to be home with my family and after these two days im gonna have some awesome weeks, filled with nephews, wedding, family, friends, shopping...! time will fly!

Puss & god natt!

Miss u!!

yet another hard day in paradise. 7-21.15. i've said it before and i'll say it again, KILL ME! wasnt that much to do today tho, thank god...hopefully tmw will be the same, and then its sunday and then its monday and then!! lovely freedom! lol
SWEET money tho!! on tuseday im going shopping with Malin, and the rest of my money will go to super fun stuff!! :D
Getting stuff for the new apartment (quinn was looking at some places yesterday, and im totally excited, just wished that i could be there and look too!), we are planing a san fransisco trip a day or two after i arrived, a disney and vegas trip at my bday, and somwhere there we are going to the waterpark to play and to sixflags on Byrons bday! wow... i think i need to work more hrs than i already do to do all that lol but if we dont do it now, we can do it later! :)

im just so content with my life right now! i've been down for a little while, been worried over bs that dont matter and shit, but lately (like today) i feel good! i feel good about my past, my dissions that i've ever made,  my future looks shiný and bright, i have an awesome boyfriend, awesome friends, awesome family, my mom is recovered, all my stress is just out of the way and im happy! The only thing there is is the little inconvinices that will happen when i get back to LA, but no need to worry about that either. if everything works out we'll be moving into our new place like a week after i arrived.! :D im super ecxited to get rid of the old and start the new!  

now, its sleepy time!!

Sweet dreams!!

Pussar!

wow... 15 hrs of work today too!! and tmw too!! and saturday!! and like 8 hrs of work sunday and then they are having a huge party for all the workers and then like 5 hrs of work on monday and then!!!!! then im not doing a snigle mo fu thing more in my entire life. im done. good bye. over and out!
im not as tired as one would think i'd be tho... :S time pass really fast, which is good!

this morning was suuuper sucky tho... shit... i can be such a child sometimes!! stubborn and immature and childish, thats me! I so understand that "friends" dont wanna be "friends" with me anymore, and i feel bad for my love! he has to move in and live with me lol poor guy..! well, it wont happen again... (it probably will tho lol) whats good about me (if i may say so myself lol) is that i can be super mad but then if i can just cool down a couple of min i just drop it and move on.
whatever.. i feel like writing a wholelot but damn... its 23.27 and my alarm is set on 05.30... think its time to go to sleep?

fuck me... 17 credits this fall...my life for the upcomming months will be filled with exciting books and complaints about my teachers! yay! at least i can fall asleep next to my babe every night!!!

Puss puss

jag älskar dig!

what a day!!
my cowork linus droped like 1000000000000000 liter of super duper hot boiling sauce right on my foot and ancle so now i have big blisters all over and it burns and it hurts and i want to cry!! and when he did it, i was cutting stuff and i got to suprised by the heat that i cut my finger which hurts so incredible much... :/

anyhow, got off early and spent the day with my lovely family! me, carl (oldest nephew), fredrik (my sisters husband-to-be) and felix went by boat, while the rest of the gang went by bicycle and in to the forrest and picknick and then home and bbq. and im soooo in love with my nephews who are the cutest things u can ever imagin!!!



                          Felix and Carl

anyhow im super tired so nite nite!!

love you

29 days left!

yesterday, i was fine. i woke up, talked to my babe, went to work and everything was fine. around 4 i start feeling ill. around 5 im feeling sick. at 6 my head hurts like crazy... i got sent home. i came home, starig to the toilet for a yummy vomit!! what the hell was wrong with me?? at least im not this poor girl:

anyhow, i woke up this morning, and i was fine. wierd... been at work all day, got home, now im home. lol exciting day!! Tmw im getting of at 1 (WOW) and after that im going straigt to Lisa to have a little family gathering. all my nephews will be there, it'll be a good time :)

i just cant wait to go back to LA!! everyday that goes i miss him even more and more. now, its less then a month!!! yay!!

time to go to bed..!
sweet dreams

Pussar!

my dog is the best! its like he feels im lonely, so instead of sleeping in the same room as my parents, which he always do, he sleeps in my room,in my bed and up by my head. he's so wonderful!
yesterday i only worked 11 hrs lol today i got the luxery of starting at 1 instead of 7! im taking fully advantage of that, and spent the morning in bed talking to my baby until he fell asleep on me lol cant waaaaaait to get back to la!!! a month from today, i'll be landing on LAX, running into his arms, kissing hugging and never let go!! and then hugs with amanda, get home and drop off my stuff, go have dinner with babe and amanda and just enjoy being back in LA!! i cant waaaaaait!!!!!!!
LA is my home now, thats where quinn is,my school, friends, sun, beach, clubs bars everything is! well... not my familyand friends from home tho, but whatever :P
cant wait to stop working either!
my plan: 20th: stop working
                 25th: sisters wedding
                begining of agust: going up to varberg again
                                                  see: grandma, dad, brother.
                                                 going to jönköping with åsa
                                                  back to mom
                                                  spend the last days with my fam and friends
                11th: up up and away
                12th: LA!

omg, i sooo cant wait! (that was the same sentence for the 3rd time lol)

anyhow, im hungry, gonna eat and relax some more before work. 4days down, 8 to go.


31 days left babe

dream:

me and quinn woke up at the same time, he kissed me good morning and we lay in eachothers arms for a while. we talked about this and that, and about what we were going to do today, on our 4 months anniversery. we decided to go take a walk in venice. the sun was shining, the water was clear. we ate funnle cake and just enjoyed eachothers company and our day off. time just flew! It was a great day, im so lucky to be with my baby!

omg, im so freaking exhausted!!!! if i was tired yesterday, im dead now. 12 hrs. from 9 to 9. i sat down 3 times. (4, if u count my visit to the ladies lol) but my boss gave me alot of compliments that i was a good worker and that i was smart. like i didnt already know that? :P haha its been a super long and hard day today. 2 down, 10 to go! i work with a sweet girl named louise and we are a good team i think.
cant wait for these days to me over tho! im exhausted!! and when i work these crazy hours there's no time to talk to my baby! :(  we'll find a way tho, wont we babe? ;)
tmw will be the tenth. so it will be four awesome months together!! wow! time passes fast when u are having fun! it feels so good to have him by my side, whatever happens he support me. sure, we have our ups and downs like any other normal relationship, but we always have our aguring, we both say we are sorry and we keep on going! i just cant wait to be in his arms, 2 days after our 5th months anniversery lol that will be the happiest day ever! im probably gonna cry again, im sucha baby! lol

anyhow, i have to get some sleep, im gonna be up and at work at 7am tmw. lots o fun! not...

tjip o hajk

hejdå

i love you

hola!

im exhausted!!!!!!!!!

           
                              Me, right now

i had my first day at my new work today. i work for Idea Novum at Åhus beachhandball (? :S). its a HUGE tent with food and stuff and apparently im gonna work in the kitchen lol but not yet! the games dont start before friday, so today and tmw we are just preparing. today, the preparing containd 5 hrs of super super super heavy lifting and carrying. yay. so yes, i am exhausted!!  it was fun tho, i love meeting new ppl and doing new stuff, so i guess i can add this to my list now lol worked with 3 sweet little girls (man im getting OLD!!!) and a bunch of dudes who was running all over the place. it'll be me, one of the girls and two dudes in the kitchen. i think we can make a good team, and if not, its only for 12 days :P

when i came home i was just super tired, and wanted some support but i guess that cant happen every day. we all have our ups and downs, and this was just a down for us i guess.

im so tired now, im gonna go pick up my mom and roger and then straigt to bed! Zzzzzzz!

tjip o hajk

hejdå

puss puss

so im back from the dentist! sure, there was blood and tears (almost) but also laughter and happy moments. I remember two really good moments.:

          First happy moment: My dentist lookat me and siad: Your teeth are perfect! U dont have to fix anything! All you need is a little bit of this:

                       

and a little bit of this:

               

         Second happy moment: My dentist looks at me and says: You only have to pay 15KR today  (thats around $2) and and then its 65KR for the fluor (thats like $8).

Man, did I have a happy time at the dentist! lol

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CSN is totally FUCKED  (sorry daddy) UP!!! i called them to tell them that, and they where super truper rude and even more rude and then i got mad and probably a little rude too, so it ended up with two very rude ppl on the phone.
but, no panic. I've been taking care of worse.

this leads me to what i've been thinking of all day.
Quinn!
I was super mad after talking to CSN, and after just like 2 min talking to him im calm and happy again. He just says all the perfect things. He truley is a great boyfriend! When I was with my Ex, dont get me wrong, we had good times too, but it was always fighting and arguing and he'd lie and leave me. but quinn really shows that this relationship will be different, he'll stay by my side and wont leave me. I even told him he could go without me (which my ex would have happely done) but not quinn. he actually wants to be with me lol

last night, while playing Skip-Bo, as always, with mom and roger, i was singing xmas songs all the time. my mom thought i was extremly annoying, and said she felt bad for quinn, and that if he felt like talking about me being a total wierdo he could give her a call. And then, i heard my mom speak english for the very first time (i've heard her before but that was like 100 years ago) She said, in good english: My daughter is crazy!
hahaha thanks mom!

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anyhow.. im hungry.. but i cant eat.. stupid dentist..

ciao!!

text me when u are online babe <3

yesterday i started cleaning in the apartment rogers mom just to live in. its hard, super hard work but i get some moneeeeey! im gonna continue today...

                          
                                                      Me cleaning haha

im going to the dentist today... kill me...i dont want to!! :( their hands taste so bad, and feels so wierd and now when i have to fix a whole in my tooth it'll hurt super bad too!!

                          
                                              Ohoh....

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last night i was talking to my babe for like 2 hrs before i fell asleep! it almost almost felt like i was next to him..! but then i realized that im not... which sucks for me lol
he also found the most beautiful apartment for us to look at! yay! want it!

time to call CSN and yell and then start cleaning..! yay!

tjip o hajk!!

miss u baby

im so freaking tired! yesterday was so much fun and totally perfect! minna and Lina planed my sister Lisas bachelorette party and everything was so perfect! the weather was crazy nice and everyone had a blast! too bad everybody pretty much died at 11.30pm lol but after a day full of activites in hot shining sun and more wine and drinks than water, no wonder we all passed out lol and today, im so so tired! i dont wanna do anything!! im not hangover, but im exhausted. talking about handovers, my mom and roger bought this thing the cops have to check if u been dirnking alcohol.


        
                       The alcholo thingy

of course i had 0.00% in my body when i woke up this morning. im Gods best child! hahahaha

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its raining today, my parents are going to see Digeloo today, so im gonna be home, take care of felix and watch a movie. Since i (it wasnt really me who did it but i was the last on touching the car) kind of sort of made it not drive-able i have to stay home... Im thinking of renting this movie:


it looks super cute and fun and i've been wanting to see it for a long time! (babe, its a swedish movie about two gay guys who think they are adopting a little kid thats 1,5 years old, but it turns out his 15)

maybe a pizza too? mmm swedish pizza... mmm! def pizza!!

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My lovely nephew is here now! Alfred! he's so super cute!! he runs and runs and runs and around and around and around he goes, 10000 miles/hour! he's such a cutie!!

        
                Aunt Tessis looove

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i talked to my babe today.. man.. i miss him more and more... he's off today, so when he wakes up im gonna stalk him all day lol

Tjip o hajk
have a great time jumping in all the puddles!



love u


 

today i've been all over the place lol
went in to town so i could buy an adapter to my us phone... so now i have fully battery so i can call my babe the second i land at LAX! yay!
took care of max, went for a walk with felix and donna in a thunderstrom, went to malins, ended up at rebackas, or rebackas friend or whos places it was.sat outside with malin, annicka and hanna and talked about everything. they are such sweet girls! when i told them about quinn i started to miss him terribly and now im super homesick....

           

 its so super hard to express your feelings in the right way, when u are so far apart! but calm down ppl, aint nothing we cant handle! lol

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i talked to my dear friend elli today. she's such a sweetheart! whenever we talk, we talk for hours! we talk about the pst, the present the future. she's so wonderful cuz she never judge, she puts so much thought behind her words and even if she's all over the place with her dreams and plans and hopes, she finds a sulotion, she sticks by it and it all make sense!
sometimes i give her advice, sometimes we both talk at the same time giving eachother advice, or, like this time, she gives me advice. whenever i hang up after talking to her i always end p thinking alot of whats been said and how to take the next step. she's truly an amazing person!

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started to swim with felix in the pool. man that little bastard is fast!

            
                    me and felix in the pool

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well, im getting super tired. im gonna go up early tmw so i can videochat with my babe before he goes to sleep, so i better get my beauty sleep lol

nite nite

tjip o hajk

miss
u
!

wow... i should probably stop being me...damn... helping ppl out, trying to be nice, is apparently nothing ppl appriciate...lately i feel i've been taking advantage of...i try to help ppl, but always end up being the one needing help cuz they screw me over.
oh well... shit happens i guess... and it sure does happen. over and over and over again....

i love being back home, but i cant relax... the feeling in my stomach wont go away....

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today was a lazy day... pool, tan... ate at a resturant down in the harbor with mom and roger...played skip-bo, again, as always lol
i treid Veet for my first time! And it worked really well! my legs are sooo smooth and nice now! WOW! :D

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my grandma called today... she asked if i talked to my boyfriend. of course, i said. so she asked if we missed eachother. YES!! :,( said I. she said: i bet he misses u alot. yea, but i've heard that to miss someone makes the realtionship stronger i said. then she said: Well, u dont miss the cow before the milk is gone. my grandma thinks my long distance realtionship is comparable to a cow. lol

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so yeah,, i know u wanted to hurt my feelings,mission accomplished.

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tjip o hajk!!

Babe, i miss u!